drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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