Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize