like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
