I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
