in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
