Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This toilet bowl is my home.
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