Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
