I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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