Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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