Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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