In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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