The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Im part way to drunk.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
