I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
