Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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