Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
