Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
