Non-Jews are for practice
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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