i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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