1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I love you.
Bad choice
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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