No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
