Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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