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The maid of honor just puked.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
