i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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