Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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