I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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