Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
