Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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