WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
