Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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