Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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