before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
