Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
