and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
