I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize