I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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