Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I don't think brook has ever known best
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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