You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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