just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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