That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Is it penis luge time yet?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
