On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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