erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
