There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He better not be in your backpack
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
