Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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