we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
