I faked an abortion last night.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
