You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
