been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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