cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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