Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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