are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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