ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
my sisters under your porch take her home
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
