Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
