There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
