don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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