Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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