i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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