A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
